So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize