but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
