You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
