Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
