I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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