these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
