She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
