Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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