dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
