you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
NoShamevember. You game?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
