I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
