When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
