Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
