didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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