Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize