oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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