I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
