i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize