great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
