Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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