Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
