So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize