Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
This girl is more easily done than said...
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
