I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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