just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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