OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
