can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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