He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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