you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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