Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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