I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
