i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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