just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
