i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
