oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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