How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
