I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
