I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
from now on my penis is your penis
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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