I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
