What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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