He is an equal opportunity slut.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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