After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
