I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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