Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Green mimosas i think yes
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
