Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
