Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
