rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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