Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
