Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
