Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
