That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
