my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
