its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
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i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
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our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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