conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
