how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
