I like my sex mixed with concussions.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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