Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
