someone threw a dead crab at me
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
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