You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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