Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
