sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
