every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
