I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
did i walk over a car last night?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
